Life has become a reality. Which I haven't decided if its a good thing or not, living in reality. For the last two years I have lived a dream, a dream which others may envy but has now come crashing down. Why, I have no idea. Is it some part of the master plan or is it just the flavor of the month? If I am to learn anything from this I hope to learn it soon rather than having to live in this nightmare for the rest of my life. I can only hope that looking back at this time in the next few years I can see it was for my own good and I am better for it. For now its a nightmare... That only seems to be getting worse and I'm starting to loose faith that it will all work out.
One of my favorite quotes is "they built the track before there was a train in existence to make the trip" I know I need to have faith but its hard especially when at every turn the doors seem to be shutting rather than opening..
Do I just have an unrealistic expectations of to my worth? Am I really only worth 7.25 an hour and I'm kidding myself that I'm worth more? Is the peak of my professional career over and selling toys is all I will be good at? sigh.. I wish there was the magic answer but when I don't know where to turn to even get a truthful answer.. Alas the search continues...
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