Stupid computer...

So after spending the better part of all evening picking pics- somehow a good chunk decided not to copy so now get to have the fun of figuring out which ones I wanted but didn't copy... That can wait... Now to see how bad they get butchered by the photo place... it says some wont be perfect but when I tested them on my printer they came out clear... who knows...

grrrrr...

What determines the name?

So I came up with a quandary today that I can't decide which answer is right.. Is it called spaghetti because of the sauce or the noodle? If its because of the noodle I am eating egg noodles with a tomato sauce, if its because of the sauce I'm eating spaghetti... or does it just not matter? Deep thoughts on a day off I know... It breaks up the doldrums of going though 2000+ pics to pick out the best ones for my scrapbook of the club.. I can say one thing- If there is one pic there is two hundred but surprisingly there are somethings there  are little to no pictures for... Same with video- some songs have five videos others none... I almost wish I started this project oh in July so I could remedy that easier... I hope google will be my friend...

So I did have to laugh today at Mart when my grand total for groceries came to a whopping 5.33... Milk, eggs, margarine, tomato paste, sauce packet and 'shrooms... Big spender.. I can safely say I've stayed under 80 bucks for groceries this month.. I think my total is closer to 50... 

Alas back to picture searching.. then finding a cheap place to get 200+ pics developed without costing an arm and leg...

How to be a Leader 101

Rule #1- Don't treat your employees like they are stupid and don't have a clue what is going on.. All you do is (*U^$ off them and make you look like an idiot... 

Rule #2- Magic Words.. Please and Thank you go a loooonnng way

Rule #3- Ask and don't demand, remind but don't preach. 

Rule #4- Remember the title was given and can be taken away- and the fall from that pedestal can be painful...

Rule #5- Don't ask your team to do things you yourself won't do. 

and I'm not "smart" enough to be a leader... 

sigh

Putting the Customer back in customer service..

So today I went to Mart and  bought 3 tires I knew I needed.. For being the *only* customer in the tire place it amazed me the lack of service I received.. Now after working for Mart for several years I don't expect much but seriously.. I should've just paid the extra 100 bucks and went to the dealer... Least I get sandwiches there... Yes I know I was interrupting their chatting time but you would think they'd be happy for my 300 bucks... sigh least I hopefully won't be  back for 60,000 miles... 

Afterwards I stopped at the King for lunch (big splurge!) and tried their new 'shroom swiss burger- It was okay... I won't be ordering it again AND I think Ill be asking in advance of ordering if they have zesty sauce because their 'rings are just not good without the sauce... I will recoup 2 bucks by filling out their survey so it wont be as bad but its true- spending 7 bucks for lunch isn't worth more than spending 2... 

Some days are not meant to be celebrated

I hate when people don't understand why you do not make big deals out of some days. For some of us, days that are supposed to be happy (to others) have been taken over by sad and not to be celebrated things which take precedence.. Its not being rude, selfish or any other adjective its just how things are.. I don't feel I'm missing anything so why should it even matter...  For me days to be celebrated are just ordinary days made into extraordinary days not the ones the calendar says to celebrate...

It's the same reason I LOVE the christmas season but I hate the day... Its all the build up to a day that turns out to be rather ordinary..

Course now days there just isn't much to celebrate... Maybe 2009 will be better...

Growing a backbone

So I saw a prime example today of how some people get to where they are... Its not that they are good its because no one superior to that person will grow a backbone when dealing with them and so they get away with everything and anything leaving those (who are equal or below) who  with the result of the actions.. Even though those people said and told the person that their actions were not appropriate or correct... I do wish I could be there to see the fireworks tomorrow when the ops manager sees todays actions but alas Im off tomorrow... I shall have to hear how it all went..

Course this person has now earned a reputation on how little work he can actually do but how much he can take responsibility for doing (at the expense of others..) Course we would have LOTS less to talk about if he wasnt around... I just wish it wasnt my friends who was having to pick up and do his job all the time...

Sigh least this weeks check will be decent- thank you 16 hours of overtime... I can afford to get hot dogs AND ramen noodles next week... sigh its the small things in life...

The other side...

So the fortunes of fate were with me and the grand total cash outlay was less than 120 bucks for both the dentist and the toyota place... Woot! I still need to get new tires but thats tolerable...

So I'm currently watching the final Hoopla (HOOPLA) on the 'tube and oh how I wish I could've filmed it myself... Its not THAT hard to hold a camera still people! sigh- least its available...

As for the work front its nothing but the same old $%^& different day... Just watching the world go down in a ball of flame of lies, confusion and denial (which is more than a river...) The way it seems to be going is we will finally be able to afford to drive to work but will have no hours so will have gas but no where to go... I am very thankful I've gotten 16 hrs this week and 20 extra next week so itll help...

I can say I've "winned" but it helps (yes I heard that term today from ironically a group of teachers...) 

Let the cash flow begin...

So if I make it through this weekend with money left it will be a good thing... Today the car goes in for its 35,000 mile checkup and I PRAY I get out cheap... Then tomorrow I have the dentist which I pray they finance... sigh why does it rain and then pour?

So I tempted the winds of fate today..

and we shall see if they like me this week... I lucked out and got 4 extra shifts for next week- now to cross my fingers my work schedule doesn't change so I can keep them... (and sadly it'll prob not even make a dent into what my week will prob cost between the dentist and toyota place..)

Course on the same day all my least favorite people started to post again on LP so its kinda mixed emotion.. I don't realize how good the boards are till they start shedding over everything..  

I want my mouth to stop hurting so I can eat properly again.. Least its got me down to 1 can of coke a day.. 

  

I miss it...

Walk on...

When you build yourself a soapbox...

and use it to share your views- you better make sure its sturdily built or else you just come off looking stupid... Growing up where I did and how I did has left me with an interesting view on life (to say the least) which can be summed up with I refuse to admit the world is black and white (unlike most where I'm from) I may not and do not agree with all the gray but I acknowledge it exists and that some people believe it. 

Watching (well reading) a battle ensue on LP has left me with even more respect for the gray and helps me to see why I don't side myself with what I was raised. 

I look at people who I have become friends with and trust and realize if I lived according to the "rules" I shouldn't be friends with or socialize with them at all as they are "not of the faith" and I realize I would rather hang out in "hell" with my friends than in "heaven" with those who "believe" (course if I can pick and choose it would prob end up being 50/50... because I want to hang out with my family) 

While I love my family/extended family/friends I can see how narrow minded some are and I wish I could introduce them to some of my friends and show them that some of "those" people are great wonderful people who just happen to "bat for the home team" or believe in a different religion.  

Okay so I apparently love quotation marks today- just making sure everyone is awake...

End of the tunnel

I wish I knew when and where this tunnel is going to end because I am getting so tired of being in it. I know I know that this is just temporary but it feels like its becoming more and more permanent as the months click by. I miss liking what I do, I miss feeling valued at the end of the day, I miss being here for a reason I believed in, I miss quite frankly living a dream. Now I hate what I do, who I've become and hate that I believed in this dream. Now I'm stuck here, can't afford to even breathe and I just want to go home and pretend that this was just a nightmare that I had. As each day goes by I feel more and more fight leaving me, accepting that this wad of crap I was dealt is what I was destined. My belief in myself is fading and I don't know how to get it back. Maybe this is how its just supposed to be- I wish I knew- I wish I could blink tomorrow and someone would hire me for something more than being a door stop, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Maybe all I will ever be is a door stop.. Guess I shouldn't have wasted my parents money on a college degree... It just makes me a very frustrated door stop. 

Peppermint Scented..

You know I feel so much better about my job now that my christmas celebration card came scented this year... I doubt I'll even use it unless people decide to come visit and then I can share the scent but its an interesting add on.. I wish the Merch discount started earlier like it did last year (aka before my birthday) but I can't afford to buy anything anyway but the coke coupons are always used (or more exactly a non-alcoholic bottled beverage) 

So the craziest thing today- I was starting to take a nap when the power went off (which seems to happen more often than one would think...) which one would think wouldnt affect a nap but I couldn't sleep after that- weird I know.. So I re-arranged my Minnie pins to fit them onto one board- then I decided to take a walk to check the mail and noticed the electric company with lots of trucks in the street so obviously wasn't just me, but when I got back home the lights were back on and now I'm not tired... 

Alas I should just eat dinner instead of chopping on the halloween candy that *somehow* ended up in my pockets after passing out candy at the halloween party (one of a bazillion) yesterday... but its right here and the sloppy joe stuff is around the corner... need I say more :)

Cookies!

So today I wanted cookies and usually we have some at work but alas today was no food day... So I actually baked tonight (and so far haven't set the house on fire..) though I think it was 50/50 on dough eating vs baking so if I die tomorrow its from the eggs...  for goog'ling the recipe they are pretty good..  Mega healthy dinner I tell ya :)

So it seems in the world of caffeine 12 packs are going as a thing of the past- today at Lix they had 8 packs and 18 packs- weird... gonna have to pay more attention to case size to get a deal.. What is so fundamentally wrong with 12 packs? Oh well- with the price still 4.69 for a 12 (or 8 pack) I haven't bought any recently (thank goodness for free diet coke at work..) as that'd be 1/4th of my budget... I miss the ol' 2.50 a pack sale...

I did luck out on playing  "overtime roulette" and ended up with 1 shift tues and 2 for next week- 6 hrs this week 10 total next so not too bad... Still gonna look for something for wed if not Ill prob go hit a park for the first time in months... 

What happens when you forget to dream?

So I know my family isn't too fond of my lack of ideas for future gifts but in reality its been so long since I've been able to think about what I want its become hard. It used to be pretty easy to list what I wanted because  so many things were always "going to buy anyway" but when the tables get turned and a dollar becomes precious you simply stop wishing. 

Things such as new clothes, new shoes, new toys, new cds and dvds are not something thats even on the radar right now... Would I love a Digital SLR? More than anything but when I worry if the rent is going to get paid this month it becomes pointless to even think about it... 

One day this will be a thing of the past and I will get to go out to eat and not even care about buying a combo meal... I'll get to go to Mart and buy juice and milk in the same week (and maybe even a new movie..) one day

oh how I miss the Box... and the Crown and the Rio.. Ramen anyone?

It's actually quite funny...

When a decision is made that quite frankly is the wrong decision it becomes quite funny to watch people try to defend said decision. It's like watching them sell life jackets in the desert the longer it goes, and the harder they try, the funnier it gets... Umm yeah I can see right through that- the probability I will need a life jacket in the desert is just about as likely as needing a coat in hell... The stories have started to have as many holes as swiss cheese (so I'm one with the metaphors today.. so sue me its Friday- or Tuesday however one wants to look at it..) 

but all I know is... a television, couch and microwave is NOT a required piece of equipment necessary to perform ones job function ANYWHERE  (yes that came pretty much verbatim out of a managers mouth) in my building (or anywhere else I've worked in the last 10 years..) Seriously sign me up because I am kinda on a Family Feud, View and Millionaire withdrawl now its been two weeks since we've seen it... 

Oh well I'll just add that to the no comment list and leave it right there (which reminds me that list is getting rather long...) One day it'll all be told... one day

Standing in a crowded room...

screaming but nobody ever looks up... One of my favorite quotes from Titanic that sadly hits way close to home somedays..  Which leads me on my current thought of class and how sometimes despite best thoughts it can rear its head. This week at work my team feels very 'third class' compared to the treatment of other teams within the same building. I know not all teams are equal but when one team not only gets what the other teams don't but gets what was taken away from other teams. Then makes its so exclusive that it prevents others from doing their job it doesn't fly in my world... Then when this action is not only allowed but is supported by those in power makes it show the  true colors of the organization...  Sigh- and I'm not "good enough" to be a leader? I'm starting to think its the opposite- I have to much respect for the whole team and not just a certain part of the team.. I care more about what's right rather than what's popular... But course I am the one that is sitting between a rock and hard place staring at the rising water...

Thoughts-

Nothing much to ramble on today about- Another boring predictable day here in the neighborhood. Yesterday I went out to Kennedy and took their Up Close tour.. Which I will admit if I had paid for it I would've been mad as it wasn't really good... It went out to the causeway, then drove by the landing strip and then we stopped 2 feet closer to the VAB than the regular tour...Add to the fact it was raining all day... Woot... The History tour was MUCH better... but I did like the Hall of Fame which I stopped at after... it was pretty nice touch though not very repeatable.. 

Then off to Mart where I refused to spend 4.67 on a 12 pack of soda- but did get a great deal on cereal so now have more cereal then Ill prob ever use... You know my life is sad when I find getting cereal for a buck a box exciting.. 

I could wish October would be better than September (and August, July, June etc) but I don't think I'll be that lucky...  Add to the fact overtime has been non-existant its another month of pinching those pennies so hard they squeal... 

At what point do you accept defeat?